Where are my readers damn it?

Day one - the first real Sublimely Silver blog post. Folks, it took some serious self-talk to convince myself to post this photo with no makeup and looking so tired! I just bit the bullet and uploaded it. This blog is about “a certain age,” so I decided to start out honestly. 

I sat down to check my email, pulled my ever-present “readers” off the top of my head, and rested them on my nose. WTH - it got dark in here! The lights went out! I’m going blind! Shit, is this a new hangover pain? Oh, those are my sunglasses. Oops - No wonder they didn’t help at all. Sadly, it took me a bit too long to realize what was happening, and frankly, it is amazing how quickly 14 different thoughts can fly through my ADHD brain. (Late-onset ADHD - that’s a post for another day). My readers were on my head behind my sunglasses. 

For the love of +.75 to +2.50, these babies are my latest accessory du jour. I have several pairs of prescription glasses (progressives, of course). Nonetheless, I’m constantly reaching for a pair of these quick-fix plastic miracles. I can not be the only one who keeps multiples stashed all over the house. I’ve got a pair in the kitchen for reading recipes or deciphering the obnoxiously minuscule instructions on the back of my Lean Cuisine. Every time I pull them out of the junk drawer to determine how long one needs to microwave a Tortilla Crusted Tilapia meal, I silently curse the 20-Something graphic designer who produced the layout. Little smart ass! Then there are the ones by the couch in the den and my favorite reading chair in the living room, and the pair on my nightstand, and the ones in my makeup drawer, and the desk pair, and the studio pair, the purse pair, the pair with the fancy cord I sometimes wear around my neck, AND last but not least the pair in the car. Oh, and the medicine cabinet pair. These are critical! Nothing worse than confusing Preparation H with Bengay!!! Unless you’re into that kind of stuff. 

So, Presbyopia is to blame. One of the secrets our mamas never warned us about. Or maybe our parents just laughed to themselves as we made fun of them for reading the restaurant menu Stretch Armstrong style (you’re welcome for that little blast from the past).

The year was 1976 and Stretch was all the rage.

Thinking of this makes me really sorry I gave my dad shit for moving their bed away from the window because his bald spot was getting cold. Please, please, please don’t let there be karma for that one!!! Back to Presbyopia, my optometrist, I think he is maybe 12 years old, explained that it is “just age-related.” I didn’t smack him, but definitely gave him my best mom stare until I felt he looked sufficiently uncomfortable. 

I Googled it when I got in the car, and sure enough - Presbyopia is caused by a hardening of the lens of your eye, which occurs with aging. As your lens becomes less flexible, it can no longer change shape to focus on close-up images. As a result, these images appear out of focus.  There it was right there on the Google machine “with aging.” Well hell! Should I feel bad about giving him the mom stare? Maybe? NO - I think not! Eventually, if we all unite and deliver the glare of intimidation only a “woman of a certain age” can muster when we receive a flippant response, maybe, just maybe, they will learn.

I wish I had invested in Peepers stock years ago. The returns from my purchases alone would be impressive by now! If you don’t have Peepers in your life yet, you are missing out. 

I’m not sure where I was going with this post other than to share a Silver Moment with my Sublimely Silver friends. XOXO